“Dowry is a curse.”
“The one who takes dowry will go to hell.”
“Dowry is not permissible.”
“Dowry is haram.”
How many times have you heard these statements? There is not a single person in our society who has not heard that, “Dowry is a curse.” Dowry has always remained a contentious subject, be it social media or talk shows. It has got different aspects, one being how society thinks about the system of dowry and the other being what Islam says about dowry.
The society has injected the above statements in our minds. The Holy Quran or the Sunnah refers to none of these statements. Therefore, before believing in them, one should ask whether the society is following the teachings of Islam or their own beliefs.
[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more”]
Dowry is the English word for “Jahez“. It is the amount and gifts that a girl bring into the marriage. For example, furniture for the wedding couple, electronic appliances, crockery, gold, and any other gifts that a girl’s parents give to their daughter during her marriage.
Islam has made a man responsible for arranging accommodation with all the necessary things for his wife. This is to comfort her at the fullest when she arrives at his place. It is neither the girl’s duty nor her family’s responsibility to provide the household things for the couple. But in today’s world, the belief is that the bride’s family is responsible for the well-living of the couple post marriage.
What is the Concept of Dowry in Islam?
Islam has not put any compulsion on girl’s parents to contribute to the post-marriage well-being, but society has. In today’s era, the bridegroom and his parents demand dowry from the bride’s parents. If the demand is not met, the girl faces consequences.
The in-laws often compare the bridge with other brides who bring dowry with them. They also taunt her on not bringing an adequate endowment, humiliations for not giving enough respect, and mental torture, which sometimes turns into physical too.
Society has made this dowry a curse for the people who are not in favor of the system regardless of affordability. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) had four daughters, Hazrat Ruqqaiyah, Hazrat Umme Kulsoom, Hazrat Zainab, and Hazrat Fatima-ul-Zahra.
People often refer to the sayings of the Prophet (SAW) regarding the dowry of Hazrat Fatima (RA). The Prophert (SAW) provided his daughter a few basic things for the well-being post marriage. This raises the thinking in the society that the dowry is a sunnah in Islam.
People think that it is not only permissible but advisable too to give the daughters dowry as a custom. However, it is contrary to what actually happened. At the time of the marriage of Hazrat Ali and Hazrat Fatima, Hazrat Ali was a poor companion.
He only had a war weapon with him, which he sold on the instructions of the Holy Prophet to cover the amount of Mehr. With the remaining amount, Prophet (SAW) bought the necessary article for the couple. They included a leather made wine-skin, hand mill, pillows, and some other little essential stuff.
Although, Prophet (SAW) bought these items, Hazrat Ali (RA) financed them. However, our society misinterprets them. Hence, the bridegroom’s family pressurizes the bride’s family by bringing the Islamic teachings into the subject.
Misconceptions About Dowry
Some of the misconceptions include that the dowry given by the bride’s parents become the property of the bridegroom. This is not necessarily the case, and the ownership remains with the bride. The bridegroom’s family do not always demand dowry. But society takes it as an implied thing which the girl’s family must oblige to.
Islam has shown the process of marriage by numerous examples from the Prophets’ lives, their companions’ lives, and lives of the true followers. It is clearly stated that should be Nikkah easy and affordable. Society has distorted the concept of dowry, which was never an advisable act by religion.
But, with that, Islam has never refused to exchange gifts. Islam encourages the exchange gifts of with each other as it is an act of love and harmony. If a girl’s parents gift her something with their sincerity, love and happiness without putting the element of custom and ritual, it is permissible and advisable.
Conclusion
Our society needs to learn the teachings of the Holy Quran and Sunnah. People should refrain from distorting Islam’s image for their own benefit. Moreover, if we get to know something about the Sunnah, it is necessary to learn it at full without extracting decisions based on incomplete information.
[/expander_maker]
